September 24, 2012

• Party ALL THE TIME

  Walking across the soccer fields on the way to our son’s game this weekend, I watched a group of girls gathered around the back of a minivan eating donuts as an after game snack. The whole scene had a party atmosphere, but it was really just a regular game, only the second of the season. Maybe it was someone’s birthday, but I’m guessing not. I’m guessing that was just the snack provided by the parent assigned to bring snack for the week.

  The Mr. is sitting out coaching this season, for the first time ever. But, when he coached the last few years, he did not do a snack schedule. Inevitably, a mom would question the lack of snackage, or offer to serve as “team mom,” to organize the schedule for him. The Mr. always politely declined, stating there was no need to have a team mom and also no need to have snacks, as games were usually right before lunch. He also discouraged anyone from bringing Gatorade or other drinks to share, since the kids are required to bring a water bottle, anyway.

  This approach was often met with confusion and shock. However, to our knowledge, none of the kids on the Mr.’s sports teams has ever passed out from hunger or lack of sugary drink following a game or practice.

  At the conclusion of our son’s not-coached-by-the-Mr. game this past Saturday, “snacks” were handed out. He reached his hand into the bag offered to him and came out with a giant, movie theater sized box of candy. CANDY. I mean, at least the pack of cookies our daughter was given after her game had some grain and dairy in there somewhere. But sugary candy? And the same family also delivered a cooler full of blue Gatorade to the boys at half-time and offered a “healthy” snack of fruit roll-up along with the candy. Unbelievable.

  All that sugar makes me crazy. But honestly, what makes me crazier is that kids are led to believe that everything is a celebration. Yay! You played soccer! Have a treat! Yay! You got a math question right! Have a piece of candy! Yay! You kept your desk neat! Look at the candy inside of it now! It’s absurd.

  Our kids’ school banned birthday treats from school this year. Up until now, you could bring in cupcakes or some other treat for the entire class to eat in the cafeteria on your child’s birthday. The school put a stop to this for a few reasons, including food allergies and as a way to address childhood obesity.

  Our daughter has food allergies, and I have been through many scenarios on the birthday treat front:

  • e-mailing back and forth with mothers I barely know trying to communicate how they can bake something “safe” for my child to eat (and trying to trust that they will do what they say)
  • being asked to send a “treat box” to the classroom for our daughter to dip into whenever an “unsafe” treat is brought by another parent
  • having parents go out of their way to bring a “safe” treat and then having our daughter told by school staff she is still not allowed to eat it
  • telling our daughter to just say “no thank you” and realize that your day will go on just fine without a treat

  And through all of those scenarios, I have always worried that somehow our daughter would end up eating something she shouldn’t, so other kids’ birthdays always stressed me out. Particularly when she was in Kindergarten and 1st grade and I wasn’t sure she would speak up and do the right thing in the various situations. (Thankfully, she always does and takes really good care of herself to this day.)

  Needless to say, I am happy about the loss of birthday treats for the food allergy reason alone. I also think getting rid of treats for the general health of the kids is fine. However, there is so much hypocrisy in this that it makes my head spin. At least a birthday is something that is traditionally celebrated with sweets. A birthday cupcake is a food for celebration, not a food reward. This is why the candy-for-the-right answer is even worse to me than the birthday treats. I worry less about the food allergy implications there, because the teachers know to choose candy without allergens. But really, are we teaching future leaders or training circus animals? 

  An occasional celebration with sweets is perfectly fine. The problem is that kids today encounter a celebration with sweets everywhere they go. If even our sports programs are loaded with sugary snacks, where are we headed?

  Our son knew that he wouldn’t be allowed to eat that giant box of candy at 11:15am on a Saturday. He didn’t even ask, and it hasn’t been opened yet. We’ll save it to share at the movies or something. Our daughter saved her cookies for after lunch, but then ate them happily, since she has to decline many treats due to her allergies. The kids are old enough (and well trained, like circus animals ) to know what the answer will be without even asking about ripping into the treats while still on the field. But when they were younger, it drove me crazy — can we not just enjoy the moment of telling our kids they played a good game? Now it’s one more of those times when we have to say, “NO” and then hold our ground through whining and complaining? I guess that’s why so many parents just let their kids eat the treat and be done with it. Our poor kids got parents who hold their ground and refuse to give in to the “life is a party” culture. Aren’t they lucky?!?

  We managed to skip getting our name on the snack schedule for the boys’ team this season. And for our daughter’s team, we only have to bring drinks to one game. One guess what the beverage will be……

   

   

  • 1:41 pm
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